Bombed my first test and survived it

“Bomb” is highly subjective, but I got an 81% on my OB exam, which was catastrophic for my psyche. I studied my adorable tushy off for that test. It would help if the material on the exam had been covered in class or in the book, but alas, it wasn’t to be. Happily, I freaked out for only a few hours, and then my distress settled into a sort of maintenance bitterness level. This is the lowest grade I have ever gotten in my life (runner up was an 89% on a microbiology midterm). I feel, however, much more relaxed about school now.

Those of you who are drinkers can perhaps relate to the “breaking the seal” phenomenon: you can drink beer after beer without having to pee, but then once you go you’re in the bathroom every half hour. You have broken the seal. Well, my perfectionism seal has been broken, evidently. I’m all, like, whatever. It’s nicer and more relaxing (as long as I PASS!).

Someone commented that she wanted to do well because she needed to know the information for her job: yeah. My gripe with these exams is that they are not representative of that information. I do all the reading I can (most of it) and soak up clinical knowledge like a sponge, but they largely don’t test you on that stuff.  So I’m done with grade freaking. I’m going to keep reading for the information and application and hope it relfects in grades good enough to get me through, but I’m so done with learning for the tests.

Aside from infuriating testing practices and unremitting, vomitose exhaustion, I am actually enjoying this semester. The classes are wicked, evil crammed with info, and there is just too much work—an unnecessary amount, IMHO—but I’m interested in all of it. Hey, I’m a medical geek! This semester, we’re doing medical stuff and not screwing around with “nursing theorists” (stun quotes deliberate) and stuff like that.

And for those who are following my OB mom saga, she is STILL pregnant! And highly miserable, no doubt; I haven’t talked to her for a few days. I had really bad cramps yesterday (and it’s not time for, um, George to be visiting),  and I half-wondered if they were sympathy pains, LOL! Twin newborns dance through my dreams. Heh.